The Bean 628
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The Bean 628
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Chapter 17 – the hunted starts today. The first page of book 5…. 🙂 oh boy.

Also I will be at the Emerald City Comic Con this weekend in seattle- come by for free sketches, for good times and great fun.

trav

 

9 Comments

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Nic » 12 Aug 2017 » Reply

I was enjoying that the soldiers were holding their spears like weapons not like props. Two handed. Leader's spear points low, following man point high. They give a clear impression that they are trained fighters, ready for action. Not just extras running about in the dark and rain.

Just_IDD » 27 Mar 2015 » Reply

“Search the inns near THE walls and docks” drop the second “the” completely. I’m not much of a writer but this trick has worked for me. say dialog out loud as if you were talking in the voice of the speaker and it readily becomes apparent when you have extra words.

Simply drop “lad” from the final balloon, he knows Bean. A more fitting sentence might be “You seem to be a popular person tonight.” When there are only two people together and talking, they don’t say the whole sentence and then say the other persons name.

I like how you have the spear tips low rather than high on the front running guards. That position is much better offensively than up. you can more quickly bring it to bear up on a charging opponent and if someone is swinging a sword, lightly grounding the tip and bringing the haft forward to protect your head as in staff work is more easily accomplished and much more stable with two or three point contact. You could do it tip high and with grounding the haft, but then you also have to check your momentum and bring the point much farther around the circle before bringing it to bear on a target. As a side benefit, grounding it adds and extra germ layer before you stick it into your opponent.

Still loving Bean keep up the good work

    Trav the bean » 14 Aug 2017 » Reply

    that was really important- to have a little accuracy there 🙂

Megaben » 24 Mar 2015 » Reply

"Search the inns near THE wall and the docks."

"They were torn to pieces" needs punctuation.

"You seem to be a very popular individual lad." should be "you seem to be a very popular individual, lad." unless Theron means to imply that Bean, an individual lad, is very popular.

q`Tzal » 23 Mar 2015 » Reply

<<>dramatic hand waving<>>
This is not the boy you are looking for.
<<>/dramatic hand waving<>>

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